Happiness

Happiness doesn't mean that everything is perfect... it means that you decide to see beyond the imperfections.



Grave Desire - by Lynn Trall

Grave Desire - by Lynn Trall
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/39392

Monday, January 31, 2011

End of January

I can't believe January is over already. And February is bringing in the biggest snow storm of the winter. Yippie... Sounds like a good time to sit down, cover up, and write a book. I know that there are a lot of people who think about writing a book, but they don't know where to start. If you aren't sure about the beginning of the book - then start in the middle. Sometimes there's a certain scene that you can see in your head, and once you write it down, it opens up your mind to come up with more...
More than once has my first chapter ended up somewhere in the middle of my book, and that's ok! It's your book. It's your story. You can write it any way you want! But you have to write it. Give it a try - it's fun and it's a great stress reliever.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Can't we all just get along?

My daytime job - I'm a Social Worker. Believe it or not, I'm a very nice one. I offer a smile to people who don't have a lot to smile about. But what they don't understand is that when they have an emergency, they are only one of 650 other cases that could have an emergency on any given day.

When they don't get an answer immediately, they start screaming. What good does it really do to scream at the only person who can possibly help you? Have people forgotten that you attract more bees with honey?

All I ever ask for is some respect. I respect my clients, my friends and family, and even strangers... so I ask again...

Can't we all just get along?

Link to sample my book - Grave Desire

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/39392

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I'm Published!!

You can go to Smashwords.com and look up Lynn Trall or Grave Desire. Thanks for your support.

Monday, January 24, 2011

'Grave Desire' sample reading

  Blake was waiting inside the door for me. “I have a few things to run past you. First, we need a radio name for you. Any suggestions?”
  I shook my head. “I hadn’t really thought about it, but maybe…” I trailed off thinking. “How about Destiny?”
  My friendly neighborhood ghosts had been whispering ‘Destiny’ to me when I arrived in Tacoma. It was the main reason I stayed and didn’t keep traveling.
  “Destiny…hmmm…” He stroked his chin as he thought. “I think Destiny is awesome. And I’d like to run the name of your show past you, make sure it doesn’t offend you. I was thinking of calling it ‘Byt Me’. What do you think?”
  He looked so proud of himself that I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I’d thought of the same name on the way to the station. It’s not good to deflate the boss’s ego the first day on the job. I laughed, “I think it’s an appropriate name.”
  “Blake, you didn’t tell me that the new voice was so gorgeous,” a deep voice came from behind me. There was a very tall man, with blue eyes and a bald head walking towards me. Guys in Tacoma were going through a bald phase. Seemed like half the city had gone bald. But it looked good on this guy. Or maybe it was his blonde mustache and goatee.
  “Thanks.” 
  “Jenna, this is Donovan Nephele, your sound guy.” Blake put his hand in the small of my back as he introduced us. I suddenly felt as though he was marking his territory – me. I stepped away from Blake and extended my hand.
  His hand engulfed mine and he laughed as I shocked him, “What a shocking development!”
  I laughed and apologized. But he just waved the apology off.
  “If I can’t handle a little shock, then I’m in the wrong business. Everyone calls me Van. So what name did Blake give you for the radio?”
  “Actually, I came up with it. Destiny.” I smiled. “What do you think?”
  “I think that it fits you perfectly. Did you know that Tacoma is called the City of Destiny?” I hadn’t known, but now it made perfect sense. I believed that Tacoma held my destiny. I just didn’t have any idea what that destiny was.
  “Well, I guess Destiny it is then!” Blake said and stepped between us with his back to Van. He looked like he was going to say something else when Van just stepped around him and slung his arm over my shoulder, “Come on, I’ll get you situated in our comfy cubby hole.” He smiled at Blake, “I hope she isn’t claustrophobic.” Another rumble of laughter rolled off of Van, but Blake didn’t find it funny.
  Blake’s face went cold, void of all emotion. His eyes narrowed, and if looks could kill, Van would’ve dropped where he stood. I turned away quickly, afraid that he would turn that deadly stare on me.
  With his arm still around me, I could smell Van’s cologne. It was light, but very masculine. “I could tell you were getting irritated by his attitude. Don’t let his ‘God’ complex get to you.”
  I looked up at him, which put him at least six inches taller than me¸ “God complex?”
  “Yeah, you know, he thinks he’s God’s gift to women. He can’t stand it when a woman isn’t interested in him.” His shoulders shook as he stifled another round of laughter as he led me to an open doorway.
  I realized he wasn’t exaggerating about how small the studio was; the room was barely big enough to hold all of the sound equipment, with very minimal room to maneuver around to my seat. Somehow, Van managed to squeeze in behind me to show me what buttons to push.
  “I’m going to keep it simple tonight. Just the bare minimum and I’ll teach you a few more tricks each night. It’s easier to remember that way. Push this button to record the phone calls that I send in to you, just push the button that lights up over here to answer the call, and push this button to go to the music.” Van didn’t talk to me like I was a kid, but he didn’t talk to me like the only thing on his mind was getting into my pants. He was treating me as an equal. That meant a lot to me.
  “Where are you going to be?” I looked around and it didn’t look like he would fit in this little room.
  He pointed to the opposite wall where there seemed to be a small opening, “I’ll be on the other side of the room where I can wedge my big body into a seat. I wouldn’t be able to stand up straight for a week if I stood behind you all night; but it might be worth it.” I looked up at him as he took a big sniff of my hair. He was all hunched over, trying not to bang his head on the low hanging light fixtures. “Mmm, strawberries.” He winked and gave my shoulder a squeeze as he wiggled out from behind me.
  I giggled as he bobbed and weaved his way through the wires and equipment. He struggled into his chair and began pushing all kinds of buttons. I felt very comfortable with Van and decided that I wanted his opinion on how to start the show.
  “Hey, I was going to start with the basics tonight. Talk about blood and feeding; do you think that’ll spark some interest and some phone calls?”
  “I think that’s as good a place to start as any. But, just so you know, don’t get freaked out by our audience. They can be really intense.” His eyes looked distant, like he was thinking about something else, his dark blue eyes narrowed slightly. When he wasn’t smiling, his goatee made him look like he was frowning. I wanted to ask what was wrong, but it was almost time to go on air. I decided to ask him when we had more time. His eyes shifted back to my face and the smile returned, “I’ll introduce you, then you can start seducing the airwaves with your voice. Ready?”
  “No, but let’s do it anyway.” My heart was racing. I took a couple of deep breaths. Nervous was an understatement, I thought I was going to be sick.
  “Good Evening from KBYT, this is Duncan and we have a new show called Byt Me, with a new, sexy voice for all of you. I know you’re going to love her. Welcome, Destiny!”
  “Thanks…  Duncan, I’m happy to be here, and I’m hoping to hear from some of our listeners tonight. I know our radio station has a very large audience of vampires and their followers, and I’m very eager to learn as much as possible about them. So, please be patient with me. Some of my questions may seem naïve, but I’m the type of person that wants to know ALL the facts. Before we listen to one of my favorite songs, I want to ask my first question. Anyone who has an answer can call in, okay? I know that vampires drink blood, but what I’m unclear on is whether or not they kill their victims when they feed. Can vampires stop drinking the blood of their victims before it kills them? I look forward to hearing from you.”
  I let out a huge sigh as Van introduced the song. I couldn’t remember if I’d taken a breath in the last couple minutes. A feeling of euphoria washed over me. It dawned on me that I was happy. I’d gotten my first job and worked with a guy who made me laugh. And a gorgeous guy was going to make me lunch tomorrow. Life was looking up.
  “That was awesome! Your voice is made for radio!” My smile mirrored Van’s.
  The phone rang, and Van quickly recapped before picking it up, “I answer the phone, and if it’s a good call, I’ll send it to you. Just remember to push the record button so we can play it back on the air.” He picked up the phone, listened for a few seconds, then pointed to me and I saw the phone light up. I could tell by the way his eyebrows arched up that he was curious about what the caller had to say, which made me curious. I pressed record and took the call.
  “You’re on the air with Destiny.” I said smoothly, trying to keep my voice low and sexy.
  “Hi, Destiny. This is Eddie. I’m not a vampire – yet, but I let vampires feed from me. So your answer is ‘No’, vampires don’t kill all their victims. In actuality, most of the victims are willing participants. They allow vampires to feed off of them.” Eddie paused long enough for me to jump in.
  “I thought that if you were bitten by a vampire, you became a vampire.” My curiosity got the better of me. There were dozens of questions that popped into my head, but I’d have to be careful not to stray too far from the feeding theme tonight. I’d have plenty of time to research everything. And there it was. I wanted to know it all, and I wanted to keep this job.
  “Just allowing a vampire to feed off you doesn’t turn you into a vampire. To become a vampire, you must be drained of enough blood that you’re nearing death. Vampires can tell exactly when you’re ready. Then the vampire must let you feed from their blood.” Well, wasn’t Eddie just a wealth of knowledge.
  I saw Van waving at me, there were more calls. “Thanks for your help in clearing some of that up for me Eddie; I hope you call back again.”
  I continued through a couple more calls, and they confirmed exactly what Encyclopedia Eddie had said. Van played back the calls in between songs. I was swaying and tapping my feet to the Alternative Rock songs that we played; it was passionate and full of energy. I’d never listened to songs that had so many curse words in them, but they didn’t seem vulgar – most of the time.
  Van transferred another call to me that sobered me up.
  “Why do you want to know about vampires?” A very thickly accented male voice came over the phone. “You’re placing yourself in danger by asking these questions. Vampires like to remain anonymous, except for an extreme few.”
  “I want to know about vampires because I find them very interesting.” I started to explain, but he cut me off.
  “You find them interesting, do you? How many vampires do you know? I can tell you that you wouldn’t know a vampire until one came up and bit you; which might be exactly what happens. I suggest that you go back to Illinois, Jenna, and leave the vampires alone.” Click.
  I looked up at Van with wide, terrified eyes. “How did he know my real name? How did he know I was from Illinois? I didn’t even tell Blake that!”
  My hands were shaking, and my voice no longer held that sexy low tone. I closed my eyes and dropped my head into my hands.
  “Calm down. I’m going to erase the phone call, and I’ll follow you home tonight to make sure nothing out of the ordinary happens when we get out of here, okay?” Van’s big, easy smile made me feel a little better, but knowing he’d make sure I got home safe helped even more. “Why don’t you go grab some coffee and I’ll keep the show going. But I’ll need you back in about five minutes, okay?” I headed out the door, but I was still thinking about Devin.
  I wished I had Devin’s phone number. I hadn’t thought to get it from him today. I’d feel better if I could talk to him.
  I grabbed some decaf, last thing I needed was to be hyped up. That last phone call would probably keep me up all night. As I walked back into the studio, Van motioned to the phone and said, “You have a personal call on one.”
  I handed Van the coffee that I brought back for him, then I picked up the phone.
  “Hey gorgeous! You sound wonderful!” It was Devin.
    I was happy to hear his voice. “I was just thinking of you! I don’t have your number, or I would’ve called you just a few minutes ago. Did you happen to mention to anyone where I was from?” 
  “No. Why? What happened?”
  “Oh, nothing really. Kind of a strange caller. No biggie. But I’m having a blast! This is so much fun and it’s so interesting! You sure I sound okay?” I saw Van nodding furiously out of the corner of my eye. I smiled at him.
  Van was right. The caller was just one of those extreme listeners that he warned me about. I’d have to try to control my reactions, and not overreact to this stuff.
  “You sound perfect; you really do have an amazing radio voice. I’ve been thinking about you all day, and I very much want to kiss you again…”
  “Actually, I was just thinking the same thing.” I noticed Van pointing at his watch, and disappointment filled me. I couldn’t seem to get enough of Devin. The way his voice made my stomach flip, the heat of his touch, the passion that filled me. Intoxicating.
  “Sorry, I gotta go. I can’t wait to see ya tomorrow!” As I hung up, I knew my face was slightly red. Just talking to Devin put my hormones into overdrive.
  “Darn, it figures you have a boyfriend.” Van tried to look hurt, but I started laughing at his feeble attempt. He was trying to keep his face blank, but the corners of his lips were twitching with a smile, “You’re cruel… and you have another listener call on two.”
  “Hi, this is Destiny and you’re on the air.”
  “Hi Destiny, I don’t want to give my true name, so just call me Marco. You’ve had quite a few people who claim to be cocktails for vampires, so I thought I’d call in and let you talk to a vampire directly. I like your voice, and you don’t sound condescending. I believe you are truly curious, so I’m here to sate your curiosity.”
  “Thank you, Marco. I was hoping to speak to a vampire. Do you mind me asking how old you are?”
  “I was born in London, on February 4th, 1818. I’m currently 191 years old, even though I still look like I’m 40 years old.” He had an English accent, but I’d guess he’d been in the States a good many years. I wouldn’t say a hundred years, but maybe twenty or thirty. Like I’d believe he was nearly two hundred years old. What-ever!
  “So you don’t age?” I was curious, and I was hoping to ask ‘Marco’ a lot of questions.
  “I age, but as long as I feed regularly, I remain young-looking.”
  “So, the longer you go between feedings, the older you look? How long would it take for you to look your actual age?”
  “If I went a week without feeding I would look a hundred. And by the end of two weeks, I’d look like a walking corpse. I believe you’d agree that it would be hard to blend in looking like a zombie.” Marco made a very good point. I was beginning to understand how people could begin to believe in this.
  “So, Marco, how do you find so many willing ‘cocktails’; that’s what you called them, right?”
  “Yes, cocktails. It’s amazing the number of people who fantasize about being bitten. It’s a very sexual act. And even though the cocktail is weak for a couple of days after a feeding, the excitement and passion makes them come back over and over again. If you’ve never been bitten, then you do not truly know what ecstasy is.”
  Well, we just took a hard left onto Awkward Avenue. I wasn’t comfortable going into the sex arena, so it was time to end the call with Marco. “Thanks so much for calling in Marco; I hope you call back again so I can clarify some more issues.”
  Van grinned at me across the small room, “We’re done. Think you can rap it up? Or do you want me to?”
  “I got this,” I said with a wink.
  “We are at the end of our first show, and I hope you all got as much out of it as I did. I look forward to hearing from you tomorrow night at the same time. So until then, this is Destiny, and you can Byt Me!”
  “And we’re out. Jenna, you’re a natural! You’ve been on radio before, right?”
  “No, but I feel quite comfortable when people aren’t looking at me.” I dropped my eyes, and pretended to mess with papers on the desk in front of me. Cursing my bashfulness again.
  “Well, if you didn’t notice, I was staring at you all night.” He smiled very wide, and his teeth looked extremely white against his dark skin. Even his eyes smiled when he was happy. He could probably tell that I was shy, and he was giving me an easy way out.  
  “Yeah, but you don’t count…” I laughed as we squeezed our way back out of the studio. Humor was my way of dealing with uncomfortable situations, and it seemed as though Van had already figured that much out about me.
  “Gee thanks. I guess I’ll have to work on changing your mind about that.” He arched an eyebrow at me. “Let’s get out of here. I’ll follow you home, and make sure you get inside okay. Gotta protect the beauty queen from the freakazoids!” He said dramatically. I playfully punched him in the arm; it probably hurt my hand more than it hurt him.
  We walked out of the building, and he spotted my car. “Dang, girl. That is one fine ride!” He stopped walking while I was fishing for my keys in my purse. “Something isn’t right.” He said in a low serious voice, looking cautiously around the parking lot.
  I looked up and gasped. It hadn’t rained, but my car looked wet. I ran over and touched the door tentatively. I turned toward the light post to see what was on my hand. “OH!” I said in a loud huff. There was blood all over my car.
  The smell of blood brought back memories of my parents’ murder. I dropped my purse.
  “Don’t be afraid, I’m right here.” Van said softly from right beside me, placing his massive hand on my shoulder.
  I looked up at him, and he took a step back. I’m sure I had murder in my eyes. I yelled, “I’m not scared! I am pissed off!” I whirled around to face the emptiness behind my car; I was seeing red, and I couldn’t seem to stop my mouth, “Come out you coward, I’m gonna kick your as…” Then a beefy hand covered my mouth, and Van spun me around in his grip.
  He began whispering urgently next to my ear. “Do NOT antagonize them. They don’t travel alone; there are generally three or four of them. And I don’t know if I could protect you.” His seriousness calmed me down, a little.
  I realized my hands were on his chest, and I could feel how muscular he was through his skin tight black t-shirt. I shifted my hands to his arms to try and push away, but that didn’t help. His biceps were as big as my waist, and there was no way he was letting go of me just yet.
  Danger. Danger. Danger.
  Well, Danger ghost was on Van’s side. Fine.
  “Jenna, are you listening to me? We’re going to leave, now!” He bent down and grabbed my purse and keys off the ground. “I’ll follow you. Now get in your car!” He unlocked the door and all but pushed me into the car. I started her up, and backed out of my parking space. My lights caught Van as he got into his big Ford truck. I revved my engine, threw it into first gear, and sped out of the parking lot. I stopped at the first car wash I saw.
  “What are you doing?” He asked in disbelief as he got out of his truck. He had parked directly behind my car, and he was looking at me like I had lost my mind.
  As I plunked several quarters into the machine and grabbed the sprayer, I said, “I am not leaving this on my car all night.” I sprayed the car down, ran the foaming brush over it, and rinsed again. It looked like someone was trying to wash away blood from a murder scene. Van just stood there, like a guard, and watched me.
  “Done?” He asked. I looked at him and he was grinning widely. He glanced at my soaking wet sweater, and the fact that I was obviously chilly. I never could understand why God thought it was a good idea for women’s nipples to get hard when they were cold. I folded my arms across my chest tightly, embarrassed and blushing for the umpteenth time.
  “Yeah, thanks. I feel a lot better. You can follow me home now.” I got back in the car, turned the heat up on high, and led Van to my apartment building.
  I decided not to park on the street tonight, so I pulled down the alley next to my building. Van parked at the entrance of the alley, with his headlights shining down the alley so that he could see me. He waited for me to return and walked me to the bottom of the stairs.
  “Well…” Van started, “I’m sorry I was so gruff with you, but I warned you that some of our listeners can be a little extreme.”
  “A little? Man, talk about an understatement. It seems like you’ve had past experiences with this type of thing.”
  “Yeah, you could say that. I’ll tell you about it sometime.” I could tell that he wasn’t going to go into it tonight. “I have to admit that your reaction took me by surprise.” He laughed. “You have bigger cojones than a lot of guys I know!”
  “My car means a lot to me. My dad and I restored it together, and he gave it to me when I got my license.” I decided to give him the abbreviated version.
  “I’m really glad we get to work together Jenna. You are a very interesting woman.” He smiled and quickly glanced away. He shifted his weight and jerked his thumb toward the alley, “Why don’t we prevent this from happening again? I’ll pick you up for the show at six tomorrow evening, okay?” I nodded at him, not sure how serious his flirting was. He reached over, mussed my hair, and then strode back to his truck. “See you later!” He yelled out of his window as he pulled away.
  Men. I just couldn’t figure out what was going on. In two days, I met Devin, Blake, and Van. I was crazy for Devin, I wasn’t sure about Blake’s intentions, and Van had a very comforting, boy next door kind of charm. I thought about my newfound magnetism as I walked up the steps.
  That’s when I saw the shadow move.